Welcome to my mind...

Ive been writing a bit again, and dealing a bit with Psychics. Granted, I perfer, at least for my creations, the term "Mind Walkers". These are people who can actually get into your head and change things.
Depending on who they are, and whos mind they are in, they see things differently. Ive noticed that one tends to see objects, more than people. Some peoples minds are cluttered, some are clean.
Thinking about this from a realistic veiwpoint, I think a persons mind could look different from day to day. Same with the self image projection that one Mind Walker perfers to work with.

So - whats in my mind?

A large, greek/italian styled mansion, of course. Many rooms, filled with delicate articles from various locations all around the world. Behind the manse, there is a large grassy field, with a huge mountain vista. There is a stream that runs through this, fresh, living water, and to the left, there is a graveyard. Currently, there are about 5 open plots there, waiting to be filled. (Grandpa Trehearne, Grandma and Grandpa Morrison, Grandma Romeo, and one for a woman Ive never met, but my heart is breaking for.)

There are my muses, of course... They inhabit the rooms, each in their own little realms. There is a courtyard down below, with fountains and brick paths.

And there is my own little room, where Jack Sparrow like, you will find the many mental versions of myself.
The room is small, much like a bachelors apartment. There is a bedroll on the floor, rolled up during the day. There is a bible, and a laptop, an Ipod, and some candles.
The kitchen is mostly bare. Some rice, some chicken, some salad.
You dont need much to make these things.

The main image of myself is not a flattering one. She wears turquoise jeans that do not fit her well, and a white blouse. She is at least 80 pounds overweight. She has bad skin, and a horrible perm.
SHe cries, alot.

There is another. She has black bobbed hair and is pale. SHe is smaller than I am in build, and well muscled. Lean and hungry in look. SHe favors black leather trimmed in fur - not so much dramatic as functional for living mostly out of doors in the wilds. Sometimes, she has fangs, and sometimes she doesnt. Shes restless in the room, pacing like a caged animal.

Another has long grey hair and a soft expression. Usually in long dark skirts and a brightly coloured top, shes slim and graceful and quiet. She prays a great deal. She studies her scriptures and sings. She is most at home in this small space. With her is an ancient scent of incense and the feeling that - shes at peace.

Lastly, there is one that - morphs. She is - the working model? She flits between business suits and a professional look to jeans and sweatshirts with her hair a bit frizzy. She envies the two others and hates the crying girl in the corner. She is not happy wit the room, but doesnt know how to make it fit everything she has/needs now.
In one hand, she carries a living flame, in the other, a small shard of ice.

All versions, I realized this morning, wear rings.
The far left is the plain gold band. Sometimes its tarnished, sometimes its even missing, but the imprint of it is always there.
Next is a pearl ring. Two pearls, one white, one black. Sometimes, they change place, occasionally, they are both black, or both white. Sometimes, it looks like its about to just fall apart entirely.
Than is a large, platinum family ring. The stone colors change in it from day to day, pretty much. Sometimes there are two rows of stones, and sometimes, there is only one. Its very fluid.
There are two rings on the last finger. One is gold with rubies and amethysts. This ring is very often missing, and even more often, appears broken. There is the white gold and diamond ring under it. Its new, and shiny, and always there. Only the crying girl doesnt wear it.

There are seagulls, you can hear them especially in the morning. All rooms have an ocean view.
Almost every room has an elephant of some nature in it. Almost every room has some kind of theme.
There are details... a wall that has old army medals on it. An old styled court room with a high dias. It looks a great deal like a church. There is a black sombrero with silver and white trim hanging over a fern in one corner of the manse somewhere. No one likes it, but no one ever takes it down, either.

The grave yard is cold and dark, and usually rainy. The field out back is filled with firebrush and wild raspberries. There's a Saskatoon tree growing in one corner, and weeping willows by the stream.

Theres a forest at the edge of the field where dark things move. Its clear of undergrowth and has wild animals in it, but often grows silent with a menace not heard. The ground is rich brown and dark green moss - almost inviting you to sleep there.

This is my mind. these are how I see my memories.
This is how I see my world.
___________________________
Edit -
Psychologically speaking, Yes - this is a very healthy mindrealm. The Id and Super-ego both in balance, both clearly represented. A very accurate picture of my current state, and all the negative self aspects tossed back on a caricature that I recognize not so much as what I am, but what I have been.
The world surrounding myself is more or less a pleasant one with wide open bright spaces and nods to both the carnal, and the spiritual.

The only thing that I see was missing was the male counterpart. I believe that there *is* one of those in that little room. He keeps his hair cut short (but not shaved) and looks - pretty - which makes sense. As a female, my own visual appearance is stern and unforgiving, but I am aware that I would indeed make a *very* pretty boy. *smirks*.
When he is present, I believe he sits in the corner opposite the crying girl. I think he is probably crueler to her than any of the others. Which yes, I am aware speaks to how I view men in general.
He is built quite alot like the "id", which is also probably quite healthy and favors the leather/denim combos. Its in him that I think dwells my anger and rage. That is probably most symptomatic of my mental - unhealthfulness?
The female "id" is not angry, she is just - restless.

I suppose, if I was to to place a male "super-ego" counterpart, it would actually be my muse, Max. Again, with the anger and the rage, although very closely controlled. A huge, intimidating male who follows the Law to the letter. I suppose that a great deal of my perfectionism is drawn from him.

I dont relate well to that image though. I am "closer" to the id, when going down the Freudian road of self-investigation.

Over all - I would say that mentally I really am shockingly healthy and balanced. I am *very* self aware and have little trouble expressing myself. I dont like change, and resist tying myself down. Neither id nor super-ego are the kind of people to collect or even care about "things". Their worlds are very similar, although their approaches to them are miles apart.

help - anybody?

Payl?
The last three times Ive tried to eat meat, Ive gotten violently ill. Usually once it hits about mid intestine trac, so all I do is burp up this horrible *taste* and have the most noxious gas in the world.
So far, Ive tried beef, hamburger (by far the worst), and prawns. White fish (basa) which I love beyond all reason, I couldnt even chew. It just tasted *wrong*. So three times now, Ive had to sleep all day, drugged up on gravol just so I dont spend all day puking my guts out.
Is this what happened to you? Or has anyone else out there experienced something like this?

blech, and blech again.

In less dire, interesting news - I am angry at all three webcomics I read currently. Cathy having her inlaws suddenly move in with her is the stupidest thing *ever*. Retail has gone and done something I dont get at all, And in Least I Could do - welllll ok, maybe its just Rayne having another one of his little psychotic breaks with reality, but - I dontgetit!
bah.

and Im beginning to think I was right in the first place - I should hve let them go evil, just so we'd *have* bad guys. Because right now, all we have is an out of control cupid and his son, and no matter *how* utterly amusing the results of that are.... its certianly not something we can turn into a mainstream marketing ploy.... no matter how badly I may want to... *giggles madly*
That vid post was intirely revenge, wasnt it?

All been done before....

but damn - its still pretty.

Finally found the love child of David Bowie and Robert Plant.
The whole world can say the boy is gay, but I think he's smarter than that, and simply playing angles - to this day, no one knows if Bowie is or sint, and I think just a healthy love of sensuality over all suits both men more. Its just our silly culture that so obsessed with *sex* .... blah. Why cant someone just enjoy being around pretty people and be left alone for it?

He bounces between Ziggy Stardust, Robert Plant and a healthy dose of Elvis so easily you could get dizzy, and if he ever picks up an instrument god help us all because he'll start adding Prince into that equation.

If the kid can keep his head, he'll be a legend.
Otherwise, its just going to be a blinding flash in the pan.

The one thing that worries me?
The hotter it burns, the shorter it lasts.

I liked this... *giggles*

Your result for The Presidential Capacity Test...

Chief Legal Strategist

32% Values, 74% Charisma and 88% Judgment!

"In recent years, anyone in the government, certainly anyone in the FBI or the CIA ... the main bad guy is the chief advisor to the president." - Charlton Heston

You're a bit too slimy. Some call you the puppet-master - the Presidential Adviser pulling the strings. Let's be honest - you've got the charisma and the judgement; you've just got a few too many skeletons in the closet to sit in the Presidential highchair.

The public doesn't trust you, and probably rightly so. You're better suited behind the curtain, calling the important shots and spinning out perfectly-worded press releases. Many consider you to be the bad guy and certainly popular culture has painted you that way, but someone needs to make the decisions no-one else can. Keep pulling those strings.

Other possibilities:

Take The Presidential Capacity Test at HelloQuizzy

Because its been a while

and my little sister just posted some beauties, I thought youd all like to see the kidlets....
my fave Eva one... its *her* - just, being. Shes such a force of nature, always moving, that its difficult sometimes to see that theres still a *child* underneath all the bossyness and determination.
my happy little angel-boy. You know those "commercial" kids - always bringing thier mommys flowers and kisses? - Hes really like that.

Theres that determination. You may have no idea whats going on her mind, but rest assured, its almost always moving.


ahhhhh the dimple that kills. Its not his best smile, this is more the "please love me because Im about to do something thats going to get me into trouble" look.


Beleive it or not, this adorable wide-eyed expression is *common* on this boy. Just this gentle curiousity that makes you want to scoop him up and protect him from *everything*.


This is one of those pictures I would totally frame and hang on my wall if I could get it poster sized. Its not that its the best shot of my daughter, but that it seems to have captured some of the spirit of infant exploration.

*theres* my little man! Such a goofy, goofy looking little boy. Oh - he is - with those mismatched ears and that little keebler elf face. But theres something in there thats just intirely charming too.

And theres the dynamo. The 2 year old monster that has me laughing all day. Even her temper tantrums are halarious.

If you are curious....

to know what its been like to be me over the last three years.... rent Marley and Me.
Ok, we only had the dog for about 30 seconds...
and no, we dont have the third kid.... (and trust me, theres slowly building a story behind that)
but....
woah....
just woah.....

I finally broke down

and I bought a bikeif you click on the picture a few times, you can see that those pretty flowers actually look like cross stitch. I just - couldnt help myself.
*giggles madly*
I think the tigger is proud of me.