Most of this, you knew was coming...

Once again, I found myself up, most of the night, in prayer.
I am wondering if this will slowly become a regular thing.

Luke 21

 ⁷They questioned Him, saying, "Teacher, when therefore will these things happen? And what will be the sign when these things are about to take place?"
 ⁸And He said, "See to it that you are not misled; for many will come in My name, saying, '^(F)I am He,' and, 'The time is near ' ^(G)Do not go after them.
 ⁹"When you hear of wars and disturbances, do not be terrified; for these things must take place first, but the end does not follow immediately."

Things to Come

 ¹⁰Then He continued by saying to them, "Nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom,  ¹¹and there will be great earthquakes, and in various places plagues and famines; and there will be terrors and great signs from heaven.
 ¹²"But before all these things, ^(H)they will lay their hands on you and will persecute you, delivering you to the synagogues and prisons, bringing you before kings and governors for My name's sake.
 ¹³"^(I)It will lead to an opportunity for your testimony.
 ¹⁴"^(J)So make up your minds not to prepare beforehand to defend yourselves;
 ¹⁵for ^(K)I will give you utterance and wisdom which none of your opponents will be able to resist or refute.
 ¹⁶"But you will be betrayed even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death,
 ¹⁷and you will be hated by all because of My name.
 ¹⁸"Yet ^(L)not a hair of your head will perish.
 ¹⁹"^(M)By your endurance you will gain your lives.
 ²⁰"But when you see Jerusalem ^(N)surrounded by armies, then recognize that her desolation is near.
 ²¹"Then those who are in Judea must flee to the mountains, and those who are in the midst of the city must leave, and ^(O)those who are in the country must not enter the city;
 ²²because these are ^(P)days of vengeance, so that all things which are written will be fulfilled.
 ²³"Woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days; for ^(Q)there will be great distress upon the land and wrath to this people;
 ²⁴and they will fall by ^(R)the edge of the sword, and will be led captive into all the nations; and ^(S)Jerusalem will be ^(T)trampled under foot by the Gentiles until ^(U)the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.

The Return of Christ

 ²⁵"There will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and on the earth dismay among nations, in perplexity at the roaring of the sea and the waves,  ²⁶men fainting from fear and the expectation of the things which are coming upon the world; for the powers of the heavens will be shaken.
 ²⁷"^(V)Then they will see ^(W)THE SON OF MAN COMING IN A CLOUD with power and great glory.
 ²⁸"But when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your heads, because ^(X)your redemption is drawing near."
 ²⁹Then He told them a parable: "Behold the fig tree and all the trees;
 ³⁰as soon as they put forth leaves, you see it and ^(Y)know for yourselves that summer is now near.
 ³¹"So you also, when you see these things happening, recognize that ^(Z)the kingdom of God is near.
 ³²"Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all things take place.
 ³³"^(AA)Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away.
 ³⁴"^(AB)Be on guard, so that your hearts will not be weighted down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of life, and that day will not come on you suddenly like a trap;
 ³⁵for it will come upon all those who dwell on the face of all the earth.
 ³⁶"But ^(AC)keep on the alert at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are about to take place, and to ^(AD)stand before the Son of Man."

Mark 13
⁵And Jesus began to say to them, "See to it that no one misleads you.  ⁶"Many will come in My name, saying, '^(E)I am He!' and will mislead many.
 ⁷"When you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be frightened; those things must take place; but that is not yet the end.
 ⁸"For nation will rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there will be earthquakes in various places; there will also be famines. These things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
 ⁹"But be on your guard; for they will ^(F)deliver you to the courts, and you will be flogged ^(G)in the synagogues, and you will stand before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them.
 ¹⁰"^(H)The gospel must first be preached to all the nations.
 ¹¹"^(I)When they arrest you and hand you over, do not worry beforehand about what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour; for it is not you who speak, but it is the Holy Spirit.
 ¹²"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and have them put to death.
 ¹³"^(J)You will be hated by all because of My name, but the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
 ¹⁴"But ^(K)when you see the ^(L)ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION standing where it should not be (let the reader understand), then those who are in Judea must flee to the mountains.
 ¹⁵"^(M)The one who is on the housetop must not go down, or go in to get anything out of his house;
 ¹⁶and the one who is in the field must not turn back to get his coat.
 ¹⁷"But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!
 ¹⁸"But pray that it may not happen in the winter.
 ¹⁹"For those days will be a time of tribulation such as has not occurred ^(N)since the beginning of the creation which God created until now, and never will.
 ²⁰"Unless the Lord had shortened those days, no life would have been saved; but for the sake of the elect, whom He chose, He shortened the days.
 ²¹"And then if anyone says to you, 'Behold, here is the Christ'; or, 'Behold, He is there'; do not believe him;
 ²²for false Christs and ^(O)false prophets will arise, and will show ^(P)signs and ^(Q)wonders, in order to lead astray, if possible, the elect.
 ²³"But take heed; behold, I have told you everything in advance.

The Return of Christ

 ²⁴"But in those days, after that tribulation, ^(R)THE SUN WILL BE DARKENED AND THE MOON WILL NOT GIVE ITS LIGHT,  ^25(S)AND THE STARS WILL BE FALLING from heaven, and the powers that are in the heavens will be shaken.
 ²⁶"Then they will see ^(T)THE SON OF MAN ^(U)COMING IN CLOUDS with great power and glory.
 ²⁷"And then He will send forth the angels, and ^(V)will gather together His elect from the four winds, ^(W)from the farthest end of the earth to the farthest end of heaven.
 ²⁸"Now learn the parable from the fig tree: when its branch has already become tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near.
 ²⁹"Even so, you too, when you see these things happening, recognize that He is near, right at the door.
 ³⁰"Truly I say to you, this ^[b]generation will not pass away until all these things take place.
 ³¹"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away.
 ³²"^(X)But of that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.
 ³³"Take heed, ^(Y)keep on the alert; for you do not know when the appointed time will come.
 ³⁴"^(Z)It is like a man away on a journey, who upon leaving his house and putting his slaves in charge, assigning to each one his task, also commanded the doorkeeper to stay on the alert.
 ³⁵"Therefore, ^(AA)be on the alert--for you do not know when the master of the house is coming, whether in the evening, at midnight, or ^(AB)when the rooster crows, or ^(AC)in the morning--
 ³⁶in case he should come suddenly and find you ^(AD)asleep.
 ³⁷"What I say to you I say to all, '^(AE)Be on the alert!'" 

Matthew 24
³As He was sitting on ^(D)the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of ^(E)Your coming, and of the end of the age?"  ⁴And Jesus answered and said to them, "^(F)See to it that no one misleads you.
 ⁵"For ^(G)many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will mislead many.
 ⁶"You will be hearing of ^(H)wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end.
 ⁷"For ^(I)nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be ^(J)famines and earthquakes.
 ⁸"^(K)But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
 ⁹"^(L)Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and ^(M)you will be hated by all nations because of My name.
 ¹⁰"At that time many will ^(N)fall away and will betray one another and hate one another.
 ¹¹"Many ^(O)false prophets will arise and will mislead many.
 ¹²"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.
 ¹³"^(P)But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.
 ¹⁴"This ^(Q)gospel of the kingdom ^(R)shall be preached in the whole ^(S)world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.

Perilous Times

 ¹⁵"Therefore when you see the ^(T)ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION which was spoken of through Daniel the prophet, standing in ^(U)the holy place (^(V)let the reader understand),  ¹⁶then those who are in Judea must flee to the mountains.
 ¹⁷"Whoever is on ^(W)the housetop must not go down to get the things out that are in his house.
 ¹⁸"Whoever is in the field must not turn back to get his cloak.
 ¹⁹"But ^(X)woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!
 ²⁰"But pray that your flight will not be in the winter, or on a Sabbath.
 ²¹"For then there will be a ^(Y)great tribulation, such as has not occurred since the beginning of the world until now, nor ever will.
 ²²"Unless those days had been cut short, no life would have been saved; but for ^(Z)the sake of the elect those days will be cut short.
 ²³"^(AA)Then if anyone says to you, 'Behold, here is the Christ,' or 'There He is,' do not believe him.
 ²⁴"For false Christs and ^(AB)false prophets will arise and will show great ^(AC)signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even ^(AD)the elect.
 ²⁵"Behold, I have told you in advance.
 ²⁶"So if they say to you, 'Behold, He is in the wilderness,' do not go out, or, 'Behold, He is in the inner rooms,' do not believe them.
 ²⁷"^(AE)For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes even to the west, so will the ^(AF)coming of the ^(AG)Son of Man be.
 ²⁸"^(AH)Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather.

The Glorious Return

 ²⁹"But immediately after the ^(AI)tribulation of those days ^(AJ)THE SUN WILL BE DARKENED, AND THE MOON WILL NOT GIVE ITS LIGHT, AND ^(AK)THE STARS WILL FALL from the sky, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken.  ³⁰"And then ^(AL)the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see ^(AM)the SON OF MAN COMING ON THE CLOUDS OF THE SKY with power and great glory.
 ³¹"And ^(AN)He will send forth His angels with ^(AO)A GREAT TRUMPET and THEY WILL GATHER TOGETHER His ^(AP)elect from ^(AQ)the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other.

Parable of the Fig Tree

 ³²"Now learn the parable from the fig tree: when its branch has already become tender and puts forth its leaves, you know that summer is near;  ³³so, you too, when you see all these things, recognize that He is near, right ^(AR)at the door.
 ³⁴"Truly I say to you, ^(AS)this generation will not pass away until all these things take place.
 ³⁵"^(AT)Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away.
 ³⁶"But ^(AU)of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.
 ³⁷"For the ^(AV)coming of the Son of Man will be ^(AW)just like the days of Noah.
 ³⁸"For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, ^(AX)marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that ^(AY)Noah entered the ark,
 ³⁹and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the ^(AZ)coming of the Son of Man be.
 ⁴⁰"Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.
 ⁴¹"^(BA)Two women will be grinding at the ^(BB)mill; one will be taken and one will be left.

Be Ready for His Coming

 ⁴²"Therefore ^(BC)be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming.  ⁴³"But be sure of this, that ^(BD)if the head of the house had known ^(BE)at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into.
 ⁴⁴"For this reason ^(BF)you also must be ready; for ^(BG)the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think He will.
 ⁴⁵"^(BH)Who then is the ^(BI)faithful and ^(BJ)sensible slave whom his master ^(BK)put in charge of his household to give them their food at the proper time?
 ⁴⁶"Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes.
 ⁴⁷"Truly I say to you that ^(BL)he will put him in charge of all his possessions.
 ⁴⁸"But if that evil slave says in his heart, 'My master is not coming for a long time,'
 ⁴⁹and begins to beat his fellow slaves and eat and drink with drunkards;
 ⁵⁰the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour which he does not know,
 ⁵¹and will cut him in pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites; in that place there will be ^(BM)weeping and gnashing of teeth.
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People love to focus on one or two verses - usually to back up their claims.  Context will always destroy their arguments. 
The people who have been led astray, lately - will need our prayers.  They will need to be shown that their faith is not wrong, that it was the prophet, who was wrong.  Matthew 24:45 - 51, right above, explains what *his* fate will be.
But his followers, they will need much grace, and forgiveness.  And good teaching.  I fear, in their despair and disgrace, they will turn their backs on God entirely... and so Satan laughs all the harder.  So yes, I spend a great amount of time in prayer, pleading that those around them, will be wise.
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My list of complaints against the "Organized Church" is long, and filled with personal ... bitterness, I suppose.  Today though, I would love to address one issue that I feel is very important to this situation.
The church as a people, and as an institution, has lost its sense of purpose, it seems to me.

Christians gather, not to do outreach, or to bring in members, but to strengthen themselves.  The "seeker friendly" church, is... well its despicable, honestly.  It is the individuals job, the *persons* responsibility - to reach out to their community and neighbors.  The things they do and the say, are to reflect the light of Christ, and draw people to them.
The church, as a building, is supposed to *teach* us, feed us, point us in a collected direction.
But it is not meant, for the unbeliever.  *We* are.

Now, we have the "church" reaching out to the unknown masses, and it gives us leave - to sit on our asses, and become complacent. 
And worse, it forces the Pastors of these churches, into a solid repetitive cycle of preaching.  He cannot feed his flock meat, cannot get into the heart of scriptures, because they are continually attempting to placate those who may or may not walk in, who would not understand.
Only the most simple, basic teachings, get thrown from the pulpit - those carefully tended to not offend, to not challenge, to not upset any young Christian, or unbeliever.  And on this milk, those with stronger appetites, starve.

And through this, these places grow less and less a "Fellowship of the Saints" and more and more a social club.  Unable to understand the wealth, the joy, and the strength that is under the surface of the river they are barely skimming.  God and scripture become something that is relegated to Sunday, and the people largely remain inoculated to any real concept of forgiveness, of grace, or of any deep theological study... like the end times, and how fully they *are* laid out in scripture.

From the verses above, I think its inescapable - we must recognize that there is tribulation, *before* the rapture.  We will be hated, and killed, and be a true mystery, to the unsaved, long before He comes to us.  But that those days be cut *short* none would survive.  That's fairly clear.
I do not welcome this.  I look at my children, and fear.
But their lives, as mine, are in the hands of God.

But, with all that is happening, - I do have to admit - we *are* in the beginning stages now.  Our destruction, the hatred, is slowly being fanned into flames, and all too soon, we will see it boils over.  Fear of the future, however, is pointless, and an exercise in stupidity, as well.  All I can do, and all indeed that is asked of me, is a deep thankfulness, and grace, in this moment, right now, when all is well. (Comparitively Speaking, of course)

Almost 24 hours now...

and I think Im utterly alone, in this feeling.

Ive been praying - almost non-stop.
Ive been praying of the family, of Osama binLadin.  Ive been praying for his followers.
Ive been praying that they find peace.  Ive been praying, that they grieve well.
Ive been praying, that they find comfort, as it seems the whole world, is against them.

A world filled to the brim, with hatred, and thoughts of revenge - which have brought no one peace.  A decadent, and morally corrupt world, that they must have felt so alone, in trying to keep out of their small corner of the it.

I pray for the men, who killed Osama. 
I pray that thier greif, thier regrets, and even thier guilt, will find strong arms - understanding arms.
They alone, will bear the pain, that the people around them will tell them, they should not feel.
I pray, they will not have to feel the shame of it, for long.

I pray for these so-called "Christian" nations, who harbor such deep seated hate, and unforgivness in their hearts.  That they would slaughter tens of thousands, in retribution for three, that they would decimate, and destroy, entire countries, entire peoples, in their wrath.

Christ would ask them to turn away, to show them love, and forgiveness.

The people who lost friends and family in those few attacks, will never know peace, any other way.


I pray for them, as well.  As they begin to realize that with the death of this.. tyrant, or martyr, their pain does not lessen, but only grows.  I pray that now, too late perhaps, but still, I pray that they would forgive, that they would extend a hand of mercy, and graciousness, to the world around them again.
That maybe, sanity could be restored.
Perhaps, its too late for that prayer.

Ive cried more, in these last 24 hours, then I did when the towers fell.
Ive felt more pain, more despair - as one after another, Ive witnessed the hate filled, pride laced speeches of those around me.

What exactly, have you won, by the death of this man.  He was - just a man.
You cannot crush an idea, or a dream, so easily.  To think you can, is more foolhardy then anything that has happened yet.  And fear... your greatest enemy, will only grow, as you replace the one face, with countless others, lurking in shadows.

I pray, for wisdom.  For all of us.  That we would begin to learn, and understand.  That we would come to realize that bitterness, and hatred, and fear, are poison in our bones.  It will kill us, eventually.  Every one of us.

But let me be - plain.
I understand.  I do.  I understand that this had to happen.  Not because you wanted it, but because God needed it to, and what I am asking for, praying for, is an impossibility.  Indeed, what I am praying for, is actually outside of the realm of God.
Because, it is that time.
It is the time when you must hate, and fear, and curse. 
In your act of righteousness, you must push all that is good and true and pure from you, in order for Gods Word to come to a conclusion, and those of us who believe that your ways are *wrong*... we will be your enemies.

We who will forgive you, even love you - we who will push aside your lack of morality and increase of... decadence.  Your materialism.  Your demand for everybody to be like you, to fear like you, to hate, like you.
In the end, we will be your enemies, and you will have to kill us.
Because you fear what you dont understand, and you kill what you fear.

I wish, I wasnt alive, to see this day.
I wish, that my children, would not have to grow up in this world - where I will have to explain to them - all of it.
I pray, that they will understand, without the taint of fear and hate.  I pray, that they will not be like - you - like them... I pray, that they will love, and accept whatever that love brings them.
Even if it brings the worst.  Which today, more then ever, I fear it will.

Two thoughts...

keep me awake tonight.

We forget, or choose not to see.
The Ten Plagues, were of *Egypt*, not just the one city, where Moses and the Pharaoh, had their showdown.  The entire Country suffered through those horrible nightmares.  Which means even those in the country, who had no idea what was going on... lost *everything* in the wrath of God.

How can we then, look on a single incident in our families, or a single tornado, or earthquake, and say "Look! The wrath of God!" - what amazing vanity.  If it were God, wrecking havoc on our country - trust me, we would have *no* doubt of it.  There would be no other logical explanation.  (Not that God has anything to do with Logic, but Im just saying here......)

Secondly, that the first plague, and presumably the others, wernt just momentary things.  Its fairly clear that each one of these disasters lasted at *least* a full 24 hours, but much more likely, three days to a week, before they were lifted.
Even if it was just the river turned to blood, how many *died*, when left 7 days without fresh water.  How many people died of starvation, long after the Jews were gone?  And when we think "Death of the firstborn" we think children, infants... which is terrible enough... but what of the adult firstborn?
How many children were orphaned?  How many people left with nothing?  How many people were left scarred, disfigured, and alone?

Tomorrow, we celebrate the Passover.  The Night when God chose to let the Hebrews live, while He slaughtered their enemies in one last bloodless, terrifying attack.   They ate the feast with their cloaks on their back, and their shoes on, ready for travel.  Ready, to flee.  For how long would it take, for the Egyptians to rise up against them, come after them, to try to kill them, out of hurt, and anger and retribution?

Our God - is an *AWESOME* God.  not in terms of the popular version of the word, but in the terms that He is terrifying, awe-inspiring, and down right *horrible*.  When He gave Moses, those Ten Commandments, so recently, flippantly referred to as "Moses Big Ten" (When did they become Moses? Arent they *YHWH's* Himself?)   These rules were stringently simple.  And most of all, was pressed on us, not to worship any God but *Him*.

That, more then anything, had been Egypts crime.  Oh yes, they had sodomy and fornication, they had murder, and gluttony and wrath, and all manner of all sins.
But they're *true* crime, was to create their *own "gods" - their own people, their own ways, separate and away from Him*.

SO take a moment, and think - what do you *depend* on?  What do you turn to - for help, for security, for hope, for refuge?
What are your gods?
Dont tell me money isnt among them.
For me, I write, I shop, I play WoW.  I read, I play with my children, and I spend time with my husband.
And maybe, after all of that, I turn to God.

Now, Im not about to cast any one of those activities out of my life.
But what I do wish to do,  at least now, in this moment, is recognize that I need to put them into proper perspective.  I need to recognize that the God whom I serve, is far more capable of comfort, of love, of acceptance, and of mercy, then any of those things that I usually turn to.  Just as he is capable of the wrath of Egypt.

Because He is perfect, *He* can be both.

Tomorrow, I may make a mini Passover meal for my family.  I want to focus on the salt water, the horseradish, the charoset, the parsley...  the Maatza.  To taste those bitter tears, and feel the burn of righteousness on my tongue.  To taste the "mortar" that held together the walls that they built, and for one moment, be with them in their slavery.  That it was so terrible, that God would mete out such extreme punishment.

Tonight, I am humbled in the presence of an awesome, and terrifying God - who *loves* me.
And though I will never understand or comprehend...
It doesnt matter.
because its *true*.

Because that is, afterall, what Passover, and "Easter" are all about.

Pot Pourrie (yes, I know its spelt wrong, deal with it)

OK - just wondering... with Americans starting to protest in the streets, and important people starting to make noises that are less like democracy, and more like tyranny, how is it that the American Government can feel like spending millions - even billions of dollars, in sending ships into space, soldiers into Libya, and God alone knows, how much more, into their own pockets?
Does this make any sense - to anybody?
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Gen 16. Or proof that no one pays real attention to scripture anymore, except us crackpots.

First, Gods first husband Abram... The mans a wreck.  He makes Moses look well balanced and easy to get along with, has another wife.  thats right, God was willing to be second to Sarai.  Now, Polygamy issues aside... I find that insanely amusing.
But the best, in that setting, is that Sarai herself, *doenst*trust*God*.
OK, God didnt tell Sarai, personally, that she would have a child, but as first wife - she should have.  So when she gives Hagar, to her husband... *shakes head*.  But the fact that even *Abram* still doesn't trust God, and goes along with it... Im absolutely astounded that God didn't just smite the whole family then and there.  Obviously "She" was in a more - amused - mood at that time.  Maybe because "She" was dealing with just one or two people, instead of an entire rebellious nation.  But She humored them.  And Hagar had a son.  Ishmael.  "God Hears".
How bloody ironic, because for the rest of history, no one was listening.
This is what God has to say about Ishmael...

 ¹¹The angel of the LORD said to her further,
         "Behold, you are with child,
         And you will bear a son;
         And you shall call his name ^[a]Ishmael,
         Because ^(M)the LORD has given heed to your affliction.
    ¹²"He will be a ^(N)wild donkey of a man,
         His hand will be against everyone,
         And everyone's hand will be against him;
         And he will live ^(O)to the east of all his brothers."

Now, I dont know about you, but if this is the character of a man, Id leave him alone.  Id be polite, respectful, but not get to involved with any issue, until - Hitler like, He tried to wipe out an entire other civilization.   And then, as in WWII, Id beat him back to his *own* borders, and then let him run them.
But no.  We've decided that we need to go right into his house, and wipe them off the face of the earth - Hitler like ourselves... (yes, I really said that).
Wow.

These are children of Abram.  Promised protection till the end of time, by God Himself (Herself?) 
And yet the countries who claim to be the most God fearing in the world, antagonize the bully until he *has* to respond - time and time and time again.
My only clear response to this?
*head, meet desk, wall and floor* followed by a prayer, that I avoid such stupidity in my own life.
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TO: Mr. W Craven.
I get it.  I feel sorry for the multiple critics who watch movies for a living, who missed it.  And honestly, in light of what you were doing, it was brilliant.  One soul, split among seven kids, trying to become whole.  Of course, you fumbled a bit, between the whole concept of schizophrenia being a body with too many souls, and then it being because you dont have a whole one, but I suppose that the effects would somewhat similar.
But all and all - it was clever, and you managed to avoid all copyright violations... and in the end, making the "ron/Neville" character the "Voldemort" as well, was a *very* intelligent play on Rowlings use of Neville as a foil. 
You *did* go a little far, naming the Dudley/Draco knock off "Fang" though.  but I got a chuckle out of it.  And yes, your modern "Aunt Petunia" - May, was clever.  I actually liked her, and felt more sorry for her.  If you had more time, I would have liked to have seen a little more character development there.  You could have made her had an affair, possibly with the Voldemort/James Potter character.  Or perhaps just a longing, or a failed romance with him, before he picked up with her sister.... then you could have incorporated Snape into that equation too....
But all in all - it was a very clever, imaginative movie, and yes, Im sorry that not too many people "got" it.  It says alot about the lacking of intelligence in this country, doesnt it?

That being said.
Despite Harry Potters marked cultural influence, when you have to resort to making half assed sequels of your own work, reboots - and remakes of more successful work, it may be time to hang it all up, and fucking retire. 
Sincerly yours...
N.Romeo

This isnt going to make me popular...

But the more I think of it, the more it strikes me, and it kept me up most of last night thinking about it.

There is a popular theory, amongst both the church, and counseling/psychiatric realms, that says you cannot learn to love others, until you love yourself.
This, I have decided, is absolute, and unmitigated bullshit.
And highly unbiblical.
First of all, We are told to love God, and our neighbors, only.

Love, *real* love, is selfless.  It is sacrificial.  It gives, and gives and gives, unto death.  With no regrets.
There is no room there, for love of self at all.

Im not saying, mind you, to deny your flesh.  We have needs, they must be met.  There is no room, in theology, for the denial that has been seen, over the centuries, as practiced by many sects.  God now dwells *in* us.  We are his temple.  Therefore, whatever we do that does harms us, whenever we cease to take care of our bodies, in a sense, we cease to take, and Love God, just as much, as not loving others.

But this is not, as it were, "Loving" yourself.  The self love that is usually harped upon by the church, and by psychology, is simply a fabrication, a design to allow us to excuse and validate our bad behavior.  If I love myself, I can forgive myself with no fear, of anything I may do. - With no real need of repentance.
Why repent?  God forgives, and I cannot do otherwise.
Again, it comes down to motive, I suppose.

I maintain, that through loving others, you can learn to love yourself.  If you can look at the follies, the mistakes, and even the out right dispicableness of another person, and still see the fingerprint of God on their hearts, and choose to love them, simply because they too, are made in the image of God, then you can reach a place where your own evils, become - less.
All too often, what we hate in others, is because we see the same in ourselves and despise it.

As usual, my thoughts arent - as cohesive, as I wish they were.

But nothing, in scripture, from the old to the new, from the books of wisdom, to the fruit of the spirit, lends itself in anyways, to say that we must learn to "love ourselves" before we love others.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)
If we work ourselves backwards...  There is little of the modern concept of "self-love" in self control, which speaks of temperance and moderation.  Gentleness, is certianly not a quality we see in those who love themselves.  Faithfulness would be scoffed at.  Goodness, is now considered objective.  Kindness, - as a concept almost forgotten, these days.  and longsuffering - is certianly not a triat of the modern concept of self-love.

Perhaps this is the real heart of the problem.  Our concept of what "love" is.
If I *truely* love myself - I would not partake of any activity which could cause lasting bodily damage, thats for sure.  Smoking, and drinking, for instance, would certianly not be practiced.
If I truely loved myself, I would seek peace, and calmness.  Stability.

I would want for myself, only really, what I wanted for others.
Back to Stars golden rule - "Dont be a dick"

The problem comes in, when we are faced with angry, hostile, bitter people, who have no understanding or desire to understand.
How can we love people who are so filled with hate?

By remembering, I suppose, that we are no better ourselves.  That what I see and detest in them, I have in myself. 
And of course, that these too, are made in the image of God.

But to love ourselves, before loving others, is - almost preposterous, in its biblical sense.
Perhaps, they are something that must grow together, slowly.  As you learn, as you grow, as you see and hear more clearly, you love.
That is, if you choose to love.

And therin, lays the "heart" of the issue, (bad pun)
You must *choose* to love the people around you.  Daily.  Sometimes, even by the moment.  Its not easy.  Sometimes, its near impossible, when the people around you give you nothing to feed that desire with.
That, I suppose, is when we must truely love, and trust God.  In loving Him, we push through, and love the other, regardless. 
And remember, that may be the only love they will know.  Perhaps, for that hour, or that day, or even this lifetime.

Had to give some thought...

as to what this one was going to be about.  I have two things burning right now, but Ive decided, this one annoys me more.

I dont remember which web site I was surfing through, but I was reading a letter to their advice column there, where a girl was debating on dumping her boyfriend or not.
It wasnt that he was unseemly selfish, or hurt her, or even cheated.
It wasnt even that she had found someone new.
It was because, it seemed, that they were more "friends" then lovers, and the passion had gone out of thier relationship.

Go ahead - laugh.

And then, stop and cry a bit too - because she was dead serious.  And so were all the replies that told her to get rid of him as fast as possible.

Because passion, once lost, can never be rekindled.
And the last thing you want in life, is your significant other, to be your *friend*.

I couldnt make this up.  Its too ridiculous.  But there it was, laid out as clear as black and white can be.

Its taken me almost a week, to get to the point where I could even write about it, it horrified me so badly.
If this is - our world now.  If this is what people think, then Im afraid that the battle is truely over, folks.  That people are so blind, so lost, and so- manipulated, that they cant see that the only thing she should be doing at this point, is hoping for a proposal... or making one herself...saddens me to such an extreme I can hardly write about it even now.
One of her complaints, - her complaints, mind you, was that he knew her too well, and still loved her.  He knew what turned her on.  he knew when she was upset, when she was happy, and how to help her.  He even knew when to leave her alone. There were no surprises left.  Just - an ordinary grind.  And obviously, there could be no romance, no passion, no joy, in a world so  plain and boring as that.
Right now, my husband of 14 years, is laying on the couch, trying to nap.  Once he realizes he *cant* with the kids here, he will make an excuse to go out to the store, then come back, and probably do some cooking.  He'll hide in the kitchen for a few hours.  Then hell do some housework, and maybe take 20 minutes in his sauna, and then shower.
He will then come back downstairs, and snack, and watch a movie half heartedly, while going back and forth from the living room to the kitchen.
Somewhere in there, he will put the kids to bed, spending a time cuddling each of them, tickling them, or chasing them around the house.

Predictable? oh yes.  Passion? Surprise? no - but there is joy, and comfort, and love.  The deep and abiding love of a real family.  For the lack of romance, is there really any less passion though? Not really.  He still looks at me, and sees - perfection. (He must be blind).  He is passionately in love with the children, when hes not being grumpy bear.  Which is fair.  He works hard, and loves with his every cell, everybody he meets.

My dear girl, if you ever read this, understand that the emotional froth of mad love, as it fades, becomes the planting ground for something so much deeper, so much richer, and so much more real, then you could ever put into words.  the combination of friendship and love, is the strongest in the world.  It knits two people together on a level that is beyond the reach of the average, and lifts it up into something so - extreme, so - enjoyable...
*sighs*

I know not all people have found this.  I know that some people, demand more.  They are not content to accept that their own flaws, may be in the way, and begin to seek seeds of passion elsewhere.
They never consider watering their own, maybe pruning on both sides, a bit...maybe *gasp* adding some fertilizer.  No, they put the whole thing - the whole responsibility on the other, and *demand* satisfaction from thin air.

Its no different, from the person who thinks French, or Italian, is romantic, and then settles down to actually *learning* the languages.  Reaching that point of friendship, means youve conquered the basic language.
Now, you can either move on, and never speak it again, or you can *go* to Italy.  And realize you know absolutely nothing.  And then remember - once you *do* have the language of Rome, conquered - there are all those outlying provinces, with those slightly different dialects....
Its a lifetime of learning.  And it takes *work*
But so does life.
And anything worth doing.

But as usual, thats just *my* opinion.
Doesnt count for much.

almost 8 pages worth - consider yourself warned.

So, here we are, half a month into 2011.  Disasters, both natural, and man made, have already marked the year.

I suppose, at least part of my rant, is directed there.  But a lot of this, has been brewing for a great amount of time.  So much so, that Im even going to break this one down into sections, for  my two or three poor readers, who dare to swim through my vague, socio-theological ramblings.

Hence, I give you – The Tea Party, Part 1.

As most of you know, and adore (or at least pretend to for my sake) I have two fabulous children.  They are respectively, physically, 3 & 4 years old, and mentally, about a year behind their physical ages.  This means, that for about 4 years now, Ive been dealing with 2 year olds.

When a child around this age, cannot get their way, there are two options usually open to them.  One, is that they throw an outright temper tantrum.  They scream, cry, drop to the floor, pound fists, and are (at least in my house) punished for their crimes of ill behavior.  Usually by being sent to their rooms.

The other, is to pout quietly, and whine a bit (which is only tolerated for about 5 minutes longer, then the other tact, in our house) and then come around and let themselves be distracted by something else.

I have realized, in the by and large, this is little more then what adults would call “a peaceful demonstration”.

They aren’t hurting anybody but themselves, they walk around, shout and complain, occasionally chaining themselves to some artifact or another, and usually end up being sent home, or to jail, to cool off.

The Boston Tea Party, long it seems up held in the USA, as an example of liberty and freedom, is really nothing more then adults, acting like two year olds, unable to rationalize or even comprehend their own anger.

The fact that they hold this up as a level to which they all should climb to, is indeed, a poor foreshadow of all things to come.

The Tea Party, Part 2.

The darker part of me would like to simply say “see above” but I know this demands *some* explanation, so Ill give it. 

Our modern “Tea Party” are a violent, misogynistic, hate filled people. You can deny this by saying that they are led, far and large, by a woman – but I refute that by saying, and you will have to agree with me, that *no*one* hates women, like another woman.  Men simply aren’t capable of it.  If they were, the human race would have died out many years ago.

Yes, you can argue that they “stand” for good principles, a bible centered way of life, and the American dream – but what good is it standing for something, when you don’t live for it.  They are the utmost of hypocrites, who don’t even understand the very words that they speak.

They are, in fact, the logical outcome, of the original Tea Party – and the fact that they choose to wear that title with no hint of self mockery, or irony, is perhaps the most terrifying aspect of the whole damn situation.

Back to the old Fraud, I mean Freud.

Ive written a lot about this, over the years.  But here, I need to recap. 

The Id.  The “animal, base nature” of man.  In me, she is characterized by a violent, leather clad animalistic vampire.  My personal writing most often is where I let her loose, in a multitude of forms – all of them violent, sexual, perverted and profane.   Ironically, Ive noticed in children, this *isn’t* the first nature to appear, but rather, the second.  My daughter, has highly entertaining episodes of Id like nature.  My son, as of yet, still has not discovered his darker side.

I do firmly believe that in man, this darker side needs to find a healthy release.  But how and when, is between himself, and God.  In order to not actually digress, Ill get to that under a later heading.

The Ego, of course, is man, simply as man is born.  In me, she is witnessed, ironically, most clearly when I am stoned.  She is innocent, and often childish.  Sweet, tempered, and very easily bruised.  My sister loves watching movies, particularly for the first time, with me stoned.  I can only imagine that for the most part, I would be as reactive as a 7 year old girl – reacting vocally and with wonder to explosions, special effects, and moral outrages.

The Super Ego, is where this blog is usually written from.  It’s the one part of me that firmly *knows* that I am beyond brilliant (whether that’s true or not, my Ego doubts, but the rest of me assures me that its true)

This is the part of me that is always very close to the surface.  She is cold, hard, logical and methodical.  She despises wasted time, and is heartlessly efficient.  The collection of anything sentimental, is abhorrent to her, and she would easily live as a nun.  She asks for nothing in life beyond her daily bread, her bible, and the clothes on her back.

This is the last part of any person to show itself in development, and often, we never even see it. 

Freud might have been on to something – bigger….

God, in the Old Testament, is a raging mother.  He is jealous, wrathful, and full of rage.  He kills, with no moral holdback, and encourages his people to do the same.  Our “father” God… (for nothing in this world anymore will keep me from seeing YHWH as anything *other* then a Mother figure – for back up on this, go talk to Moishe – “His, husband”)  is pure Id.  Feral, creative, and powerful beyond reckoning.  And as such, is, yes, remarkably feminine.

The Christ figure, is of course, inordinately masculine.  And human.  He bleeds, he weeps.  He *is* his job.  Both literally, and figuratively, as both Carpenter, and King.  He is fully the Ego of God.  Gentle, protective, strong – and often, dumb as a goat-shit.  (Yes, I *did* just say that.  It doesn’t mean He was any less God, or any less sin –free – just that He was *human*)

The New Testament, mostly concerned with the work of the Holy Spirit, we see the rise of the Super Ego.  Whom for the most part, Paul encompasses.  He very often argues (as mis-interpreted it is, according to the political agenda of the individual) That certain things are for the best, whether we agree with them or not, because they are the best for the *whole*.  The simple example of this, is to not have alcohol served, at a party, where you have a known alcoholic coming.  Its simply *polite*.  Not that drinking is *wrong*.  It isn’t.

But knowing the *difference – is what the Super Ego drives us towards.  This is the “Enlightenment, of the Holy Spirit” if you will. And I will argue, that most people will go their entire lives, without once even comprehending, never mind being comfortable, with this part of themselves.

There… is the whole three fold nature of man, in God.

Oh, you can argue that *really* its only two… the “good and the bad” but anybody can see, that life *isn’t* lived in black and white.  And not even in shades of grey – but rather in vibrant, obscene color.  Which is what so often confuses us.  Is pink, or red, white, or black?  What about Green, the color of the moment?  You can argue it depends upon the “shade” – but even there, there is *a lot* of wiggle room – and after all, green isn’t white or black, at all, is it?.

You can argue that you choose to see God in anything, if you look hard enough… but the opposite is also true, and honestly, easier to believe.  That God *is* in everything, and that’s *why* we find Him there.  I have a friend, who chooses very hard to believe that all myths are equally true – not because they all point in the same direction, but simply because belief and truth, aren’t the same.

What Id like to know, is how is that logic, any different, from our darling Tea Party of today?

But I digress.

The point is, that the three fold nature of man, is clearly illustrated in life, and in scripture, and in psychology.  No matter how many people like to try to say that the three, are not only mutually exclusive, but incompatible to the extreme.

The Tea Party, Part 3

Enough years ago now that I can honestly say the phrase “many”, I was (although yes, I still remain) a great fan of a show called “Highlander”.

For those who may not be familiar with its premise (which I doubt, considering *this* blogs readership) let me explain.

Eternal beings, called “immortals” walk the earth.  They cannot die, unless someone comes along, and cuts their head off.  When one immortal takes the head of another, all their abilities, and knowledge, and “power” go to the victor, in an semi-impressive special effects show.

Most of the “heros” of this show, were fabulous examples of Ego and super ego.  They didn’t kill unless they were given no choice, they protected their fellow man, and agonized over every death they caused.

Most of the villains, likewise, were pure Id.  Animalistic head hunters, for whom a great pleasure, was the death of pretty much anybody, Immortal, or not.

Of these villains, few were so well portrayed, or fleshed out, as the four horsemen of the apocalypse.  Hovering in age between 4000-5000 years old each, the story arc with them became the thing of legends… and insured the TV show a lasting place in “cult” classic history.

As a fan, of these villains myself, I joined my very first internet group.  Mostly writers, we enjoyed a closeness online that Ive rarely seen since, and wrote together both as a unified, although psychotic group, and as separate individuals.

The group however, eventually split apart.  The cause for this, was that the writers of the main villains, who firmly, for whatever reason, chose to believe that it was their sole proprietary right, to dominate the characters who brought us together, had decided, in our group efforts, to elevate the Horsemen to a previously unknown level.

Now, usually, character development in a story, is a good thing.  However, if the character that you are writing, is a cannibalistic, psychologically deranged sociopath – and *has* been for some 4000 years.  Its highly unlikely, no matter how much chess he plays, or classic literature he reads, hes going to rave about the beauty of a rose garden, or enjoy partaking in tea on the terrace.  Indeed, the last time I checked, ANias Nim, and Mein Kampf, were not really tea time topics.

And yes, I can appreciate irony – when its there.  But in this case, it *wasn’t*.

The group split violently, with many other causes, and accusations being flung, and some good old fashioned internet terrorism being thrown in for good measure.

But the whole of it, is summed up thusly…

Those who end up being called any kind of “Tea Partiers” usually are drowning in their own Egos, living out their Ids, and absolutely unaware that the Super Ego is anywhere in sight.

(id-iots… my love of this word, after today, has acquired fresh levels)

Like the current, as past political flavors of the hour – These writers, individually, and as a whole, caused a violent separation, by throwing a temper tantrum worthy of any 2 year old.  They chose to sit in their gardens, sipping their tea, and spout out inane, and often violent rhetoric, while ignoring the reactions, and results it caused.

Often, when outright accused of causing any disruption, they would then look around, ever so innocently (for they believed their innocence) state simply “But that wasn’t what I meant/said/did”.

Where they Meet

I know, that I am unusually aware of my own psychological state.  And at this point, let me put forward a – theory?  Maybe less then a theory then the barest scrapings of an idea. 

When the Id, and the Super Ego combine – There, we have true enlightenment, as however you see it.

Or maybe you just reach the limits of insanity.  I suppose it will depend, entirely on which “side” wins.

My Id and super Ego have a great many ideals in common.  Their routes of achieving those goals, however, differ dramatically.  I have realized, that it is the tension between the two, that precipitates almost all of my mental crisis.  Particularly, my Super Ego, has issues with how my Id expresses itself, and whishes it would just go away.

Of course, this isn’t going to happen.  And certainly, the *knowledge* of this, is useful.  Or if nothing else, entertaining.

My ego, I rarely bother with.  Except, these days, to recognize as valid, and very, very good.  That is my hunger, and my hunger is mostly innocent, loyal, truthful, timid, and sweet.  And I can deal with that.  As an adult, I can even enjoy it – knowing as I do, I have the back up of my super ego, who is clever, dominant, and absolute genius.   And of course, should she fail me, I Have my much pushed to the back, as a mother in particular, Id – who is, it would seem through my writing at least, as blood thirsty, violent and terrifying as ever.

I suppose, all of this is to say that Im finding a peace, within myself – finally.  And through this, I find the world around me, increasingly – stupid.

A School of Theological Pathology

All of this rant, by the way, was liberally inspired by Samuel Butler, and in due course of reading “Way of All Flesh”  And before you ask, no – I didn’t like the book.

Oh, Ill read it again.  In fact, what started this in truth, was the realization of *why* I have to read books over and over.  You see, when I first pick up any book, I read it with my Ego.  And then, finding out the conclusion, I have to go back, and re-read it, with my Super Ego ripping it to shreds.  If its *still* enjoyable to me, Ill go back, and re-read it till its tatters, purely for the pleasure of it.

If it isn’t, then it most likely will sit on my bookshelf, until someone comes along who wishes to make good use of it, then I will part with it gladly.

For those who gladly, haven’t read this atrocity, let me explain that one of the concepts that the book struggles with, is creating a harmony between the spiritual, the physical, and the psychological. Needless to say, in 1862, these topics were much more a mystery to people then they are now.  But interesting, never the less, that the hero of the tale (whom I truly despise) endeavors at one point to open a “School of Religious Pathology” in order to square this very issue.

Of course, Freud, was just a child, when this story was set.  But I can certainly see a great deal of the local color and thought, or flavor, of his work, in this book.  And yet – it answers no questions, was unsatisfactory in ending, and so muddled as to thought and line, its dizzying.  Evolutional theory, was just beginning to make its own mark, and the combined mess of ideas makes this a very difficult book to read, although, in some respects, it would accurately take us on a similar journey as our hero – and any person given to these pursuits, of that time period.

I wish, however, that both in life, as well as in Butlers book, more emphasis had been put on Solomon.

As a biblical writer, he isn’t even mentioned in Butlers book, and in most modern pulpits, I find him lacking in extremis.  If he is preached at all, its from the rather disgusting, and explicit “Song” in order to “sex up” a sermon – for shock treatment, as it were. (no, its not the sex that bothers me, Im not *that* purinical – instead, it’s the crudities, of the terminology he uses, and symbolism, that keeps me away)

But rather, I wish people would turn instead, to the fabulously written Ecclesiastes. Of which my love affair is never ending.

Ecclesiastes 9:7 -12
 ⁷ Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. ⁸ Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. ⁹ Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. ¹⁰ Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
 ¹¹ I have seen something else under the sun:
   The race is not to the swift
   or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
   or wealth to the brilliant
   or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.
 ¹² Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come:
   As fish are caught in a cruel net,
   or birds are taken in a snare,
so people are trapped by evil times
   that fall unexpectedly upon them.

Eat, Drink, and be Merry, people… for tomorrow, we die.

Or if you prefer…. Love Your neighbor, Love Your God. Don’t be a dick.

The End.