Had to give some thought...

as to what this one was going to be about.  I have two things burning right now, but Ive decided, this one annoys me more.

I dont remember which web site I was surfing through, but I was reading a letter to their advice column there, where a girl was debating on dumping her boyfriend or not.
It wasnt that he was unseemly selfish, or hurt her, or even cheated.
It wasnt even that she had found someone new.
It was because, it seemed, that they were more "friends" then lovers, and the passion had gone out of thier relationship.

Go ahead - laugh.

And then, stop and cry a bit too - because she was dead serious.  And so were all the replies that told her to get rid of him as fast as possible.

Because passion, once lost, can never be rekindled.
And the last thing you want in life, is your significant other, to be your *friend*.

I couldnt make this up.  Its too ridiculous.  But there it was, laid out as clear as black and white can be.

Its taken me almost a week, to get to the point where I could even write about it, it horrified me so badly.
If this is - our world now.  If this is what people think, then Im afraid that the battle is truely over, folks.  That people are so blind, so lost, and so- manipulated, that they cant see that the only thing she should be doing at this point, is hoping for a proposal... or making one herself...saddens me to such an extreme I can hardly write about it even now.
One of her complaints, - her complaints, mind you, was that he knew her too well, and still loved her.  He knew what turned her on.  he knew when she was upset, when she was happy, and how to help her.  He even knew when to leave her alone. There were no surprises left.  Just - an ordinary grind.  And obviously, there could be no romance, no passion, no joy, in a world so  plain and boring as that.
Right now, my husband of 14 years, is laying on the couch, trying to nap.  Once he realizes he *cant* with the kids here, he will make an excuse to go out to the store, then come back, and probably do some cooking.  He'll hide in the kitchen for a few hours.  Then hell do some housework, and maybe take 20 minutes in his sauna, and then shower.
He will then come back downstairs, and snack, and watch a movie half heartedly, while going back and forth from the living room to the kitchen.
Somewhere in there, he will put the kids to bed, spending a time cuddling each of them, tickling them, or chasing them around the house.

Predictable? oh yes.  Passion? Surprise? no - but there is joy, and comfort, and love.  The deep and abiding love of a real family.  For the lack of romance, is there really any less passion though? Not really.  He still looks at me, and sees - perfection. (He must be blind).  He is passionately in love with the children, when hes not being grumpy bear.  Which is fair.  He works hard, and loves with his every cell, everybody he meets.

My dear girl, if you ever read this, understand that the emotional froth of mad love, as it fades, becomes the planting ground for something so much deeper, so much richer, and so much more real, then you could ever put into words.  the combination of friendship and love, is the strongest in the world.  It knits two people together on a level that is beyond the reach of the average, and lifts it up into something so - extreme, so - enjoyable...
*sighs*

I know not all people have found this.  I know that some people, demand more.  They are not content to accept that their own flaws, may be in the way, and begin to seek seeds of passion elsewhere.
They never consider watering their own, maybe pruning on both sides, a bit...maybe *gasp* adding some fertilizer.  No, they put the whole thing - the whole responsibility on the other, and *demand* satisfaction from thin air.

Its no different, from the person who thinks French, or Italian, is romantic, and then settles down to actually *learning* the languages.  Reaching that point of friendship, means youve conquered the basic language.
Now, you can either move on, and never speak it again, or you can *go* to Italy.  And realize you know absolutely nothing.  And then remember - once you *do* have the language of Rome, conquered - there are all those outlying provinces, with those slightly different dialects....
Its a lifetime of learning.  And it takes *work*
But so does life.
And anything worth doing.

But as usual, thats just *my* opinion.
Doesnt count for much.