This isnt going to make me popular...

But the more I think of it, the more it strikes me, and it kept me up most of last night thinking about it.

There is a popular theory, amongst both the church, and counseling/psychiatric realms, that says you cannot learn to love others, until you love yourself.
This, I have decided, is absolute, and unmitigated bullshit.
And highly unbiblical.
First of all, We are told to love God, and our neighbors, only.

Love, *real* love, is selfless.  It is sacrificial.  It gives, and gives and gives, unto death.  With no regrets.
There is no room there, for love of self at all.

Im not saying, mind you, to deny your flesh.  We have needs, they must be met.  There is no room, in theology, for the denial that has been seen, over the centuries, as practiced by many sects.  God now dwells *in* us.  We are his temple.  Therefore, whatever we do that does harms us, whenever we cease to take care of our bodies, in a sense, we cease to take, and Love God, just as much, as not loving others.

But this is not, as it were, "Loving" yourself.  The self love that is usually harped upon by the church, and by psychology, is simply a fabrication, a design to allow us to excuse and validate our bad behavior.  If I love myself, I can forgive myself with no fear, of anything I may do. - With no real need of repentance.
Why repent?  God forgives, and I cannot do otherwise.
Again, it comes down to motive, I suppose.

I maintain, that through loving others, you can learn to love yourself.  If you can look at the follies, the mistakes, and even the out right dispicableness of another person, and still see the fingerprint of God on their hearts, and choose to love them, simply because they too, are made in the image of God, then you can reach a place where your own evils, become - less.
All too often, what we hate in others, is because we see the same in ourselves and despise it.

As usual, my thoughts arent - as cohesive, as I wish they were.

But nothing, in scripture, from the old to the new, from the books of wisdom, to the fruit of the spirit, lends itself in anyways, to say that we must learn to "love ourselves" before we love others.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)
If we work ourselves backwards...  There is little of the modern concept of "self-love" in self control, which speaks of temperance and moderation.  Gentleness, is certianly not a quality we see in those who love themselves.  Faithfulness would be scoffed at.  Goodness, is now considered objective.  Kindness, - as a concept almost forgotten, these days.  and longsuffering - is certianly not a triat of the modern concept of self-love.

Perhaps this is the real heart of the problem.  Our concept of what "love" is.
If I *truely* love myself - I would not partake of any activity which could cause lasting bodily damage, thats for sure.  Smoking, and drinking, for instance, would certianly not be practiced.
If I truely loved myself, I would seek peace, and calmness.  Stability.

I would want for myself, only really, what I wanted for others.
Back to Stars golden rule - "Dont be a dick"

The problem comes in, when we are faced with angry, hostile, bitter people, who have no understanding or desire to understand.
How can we love people who are so filled with hate?

By remembering, I suppose, that we are no better ourselves.  That what I see and detest in them, I have in myself. 
And of course, that these too, are made in the image of God.

But to love ourselves, before loving others, is - almost preposterous, in its biblical sense.
Perhaps, they are something that must grow together, slowly.  As you learn, as you grow, as you see and hear more clearly, you love.
That is, if you choose to love.

And therin, lays the "heart" of the issue, (bad pun)
You must *choose* to love the people around you.  Daily.  Sometimes, even by the moment.  Its not easy.  Sometimes, its near impossible, when the people around you give you nothing to feed that desire with.
That, I suppose, is when we must truely love, and trust God.  In loving Him, we push through, and love the other, regardless. 
And remember, that may be the only love they will know.  Perhaps, for that hour, or that day, or even this lifetime.