OT thought progression-

paraphrased by yours truely.
(forgive spelling mistakes this morning, please - Im not wearing my glasses this morning, and cant see!)

Apostles - "Christianity is a sect of Judiasm"
People - "We dont wanna get circumsized - ouch!"
Apostles - "Yeah, ok, we get that. Well, you cant get into the temple without it, but you can still worship in the courtyard of the synagog, so we will let it slide."

People - "We dont wanna keep kosher"
Apostles - "Grrrrr"
God - "Spirit, not law - you're getting into asia now folks....let the pig thing slide."
Apostles - "Fine.... just aviod... well.. lets say - fornication, strangled food, idols... oh yeah, and drinking blood. But you cant be jews."
People - "yay! no law!"
Apostles "Headdesk"

There really is no way around the fact that Christ *was* a Jew. In everything that it implies. He no doubt was circumsized, celebrated the festival of lights, passover, purim.... and honestly - well - they arent secular holidays. In my mind, Christmas is far more a pagan festival merchandised to the masses. Easter - same thing. I am far more tolerant of those who wish to touch those pagan roots than those who gnash thier teeth trying to make these days about Christ, when Christ himself had other ideas.

In my rather bent and damaged way of thinking though...well - look at it this way -
I love God. He is the only addiction I have that I *want*.
There is a slippery slope, in the thinking "spirit, not letter". It can allow you to get away with *alot*. All too often, its just simply that we dont *want* to follow the rules, we dont want to sacrifice, we dont *want* to change, or be differant from the world around us. We make excuses, and its really easy to let them slide.

Now - I firmly beleive that a persons own relationship with God is just that - thier own. And I dont mean to butt my head into anybody elses. I write here to clarify my own thoughts, to get things down so I can look at them later on, and see where my head was at. What you do - well thats between you and Him - not me. But for me...

argh...
theres too much in my head right now - spinning in circles. We are divine beings, priests, ambassadors, not from this world. We arent meant to fit in, and to me, if you ..well - really - other than terminology, what *is* the differance between worship - real worship - and addiction. Addictions define us, our social circles, It tells us where to speand our money, our time, our energy.
I want my only addiction to be YHWH.
Addictions change your life. Its inevitable. Go talk to the drug addict who was once a surburban housewife - they are out there. Go ask the homeless man who used to be a banker. THey are not just movie plot devices. Look at the people in our society now, losing thier jobs and spouses because they play WoW or some other MMORPG.

These people, well - even God understood way back than, that people *could* follow Him and not keep to the Jewish letter of the law. But I think, in the end, He also knew that if passion for Him grew, that they would *want* to make those changes. And I find it ironic that in a world where "extreme" has become such a byword, that in our churches we are more and more simply saying "Come as you are - you dont need to change one bit - God loves you just as you are" Which is *true** - Oh it is. And we make the mistake of thinking that change will make God love us more - it *wont*. There is nothing I could do to make Him love me more than he already does. But its my love for Him that makes me want to change.
Its the addiction.

And lets face facts. Im not in a church right now for a very good reason. I dont agree with them.
They foster hate and hurt and mediocrity. They breed a lack of passion and growth that amounts in my mind to malignancy.
In a typical church setting - I am more than a freak.
I am an addict.

*giggles madly* and just like Dexter realized he needed his addiction to survive. TO be who he was and to be able to breathe. So I need mine.
There is no 12 step program for a serial killer.
There is no 12 step program to take you *away* from YHWH

And if bible collage didnt deprogram me, if the hypocrasy of the church couldnt drive me away...
*eg*
oh - so much more to come.