Sunday, February 8, 2009

I know, I know....

Its been a while.
But life, is life, and a good deal of the time, I really cant be bothered to find the time to write here.
Jade is walking, almost running. Getting into everything and falling down constantly. He has this adorable habit of tilting his head and peering at you from a distance as if he is considering his next move. He is still as cuddly as ever, and hes very attuned to others emotions as well. We have decided that his overwhelming skill set will be "people person".
Akiva is in those "terrible twos" for sure, and *her* strong willed, management type personality does *not* help. She still spends a great deal of time sorting things out, moving things around... but she does have an imagination. Her latest thing is mimicking movies. Kung Fu Panda is her current favorite. She will make the Kung Fu noises along with the characters, and will even "hit" ou if you are sitting next to her. In any movie she knows, if the characters are having an argument, she will come up to you and start giving you a very "angry" lecture - and best of all - if there is a tender moment, or a "hold you in my arms while you die" moment, she will grab her lion teddy bear (who was *finally* named "Shi-fu" simply for this reason) and stroke its face and hair and talk ever so tenderly to it.
Jade has not yet formed an attachment to any object other than myself. Eva still will go nowhere without her "bee-ca". She *can* say "Blanket" but - the bee-ca, will *always just be "bee-ca".

I am - doing better, I guess. Still taking lots of anti-depressants, but, It could be worse. My energy is slowly returning (going to the gym today *yay!*) and most days, I dont need a nap anymore. My mood is fairly stable, and honestly, I thank a good healthy dose of zen Buddhism for the change. Sometimes, I find it more "Christian" than a great deal of the Christian writers of our time. (although I still recommend anyone to read Buchanan, and Lewis, of course)

I have a site now dedicated just to my "rants against society" or however you wish to see it. Theres only one there now, but more will be coming. If you want the link, to suffer through all of that, than by all means, comment so and Ill give it to you. But be warned, my thinking seems to be getting more and more uhhh - radical these days... and not in any way I could of imagined. Be prepared to have your sensibilities shaken a bit if you read there.

Still playing lots and lots of WoW. Have 2 lvl 60+ toons there now, and am lvling up another fairly fast to join them. Its mindless fun, and I think Im nearing the end of my tolerance for it, but untill it goes altogether, I will play.

I miss - well - people. Thats the hardest thing. My family, my "friends"... Facebook is not an alternative to tete et tete. I want to *talk* to people. I want to - well - be me again, only...
Im not letting them box me again. I am not going to conform to anybodies idea of me again. I cant do it. And the next time a person alludes to me being "evil" or anything of that sort, Im quite likely to show them just what would e meant by that.
grrrrr yes, that *is* my biggest pet peeve at the moment.
Just thinking about it destroys all my peacefulness and just gets me so damn frustrated. That may be a rant coming...

yeah, Im going to stop here, before I let lose...

2 comments:

Lynnie Ha said...

i want to read!!!! me me me!!!! *waves hand in the air*

you don't scare me!!!!
(seriously, who said u was evil? geez... we all are, that's why we need grace! :P gee whiz.)

love ya hun. one of these days i gotta come out of my hermitage and come visit...

Creatorschilde said...

We are coming to Terrace for Christmas... so if you dont get here by then, Ill just kidnap you!