So - this is the idea....

Instead of doing the devotional in the morning, when all I really want is to attack my day with my sword at my side... I want to do my devotional in the evening, so as I try to get to sleep, I have something other than "i need to cook a chicken tomorrow, and do three loads of laundry, oh, and which toon do I want to try to up one lvl tomorrow?" Going through my head.
this hopefully will bring along a sense of peace with it...
And in my personal faverate devotional book at this time, tonight's, my first day of attempting to start this new habit.... is just too awesome to keep to myself.

"We come to view Him as lenient, rather than Merciful. The difference is monumental. He does not casually dismiss our sin - See the cross as exhibit A. No. He forgives it. Knowing the difference has huge implications for us. When we see him as lenient, we will be casual about the things we do, just as we see Him being.We will take Him for granted, and never know the depths of His love..."

We are not spoiled children, who can just get away with anything. He loves us too much for that. We dont always get what we want. But, when we mess up, as we tend to do, hourly, sometimes more... Hes there. He doesnt just say "Oh well - your only human, doesnt matter" He comes along beside us and works with us, if we want him to.
Im not talking about "sin" here, really.
Im talking about the things we already do well.

For example, when I sing on my own, Im ok. When I work towards a performance, Im better. But if I were to really give myself to the talent he put in me, and ask Him to guide it, Im pretty sure that I would be 100 times better.

My writing, as well. His attitude towards that isnt just a shrug and a nod. But an intimate interest in every word I pen. Even if Im not proud of it, He still works with me to make me better at it. (although, right now, I almost feel like Im failing to explain how important this is for me, right now.)

I guess it comes down to the idea that I matter to Him. His mercy, doesnt leave room for apathy. Yes. Thats it exactly. Yet, Im free to be the miserable screw up I am, and always will be. *Because* of His mercy. Its all encompassing. All He asks of me is that I love Him. Nothing else. He will take care of the rest. And my whole life is a testimony to that fact - He always *has* looked after me.

But theres no sense of entitlement. No arrogance. I *am* chosen, loved, adored, and doted on by God. I know it. Anybody whos spent any amount of time around me, knows it.
And those same people, k now how much I do, think, and am, that - fails.
and *he* knows. and he *cares*...
but He forgives me anyways.

And thats just - the most amazing thing in the world.