Movies...

I am a movie addict.  Most people who know me, know this.

I have seen movies I will *never* admit I have.  In theater, even.
I have not seen some movies Ive "meant to watch" for upward of almost 20 years. (French Kiss, Im looking at you)

And then there are the movies that you rent, and are so embarrassed that you really *like* that you hide them from your peers.  Even when you buy them.
And then very rarely - you find a movie.
For whatever reason, you *should* be ashamed to have in your collection... and just cant be.  There is just a touch too much wit, to many subtle jibes... to much cleverness, behind this trashy exterior.  There is too much truth, and too much - sly humor, about said truth....
And you put it somewhere in your collection, where it will be noticed.
You dont even care if they dont mention it to you.
Just so long that you can *believe* they are going home, and renting it, because .... they have to know why you have it.
and I say that, just because we *all* know, that nobody who actually knows me enough, to read this blog would be *stupid* enough to actually *ask*... ME.... why/what I thought of it.
Because God forbid the world come to end, as they sit through the rant, explaining that one.

So - the next time you come over, and look through my collection....Look for it.
Youll know it when you see it.
And then you really can wonder...

most likely, youll wonder "is this the movie she made that post about?"
but Id like to beleive you really are wondering - *why?*
And I really hope you figure it out.

Afternoon Ridiculous....

Growing up in Northern BC, I became accustomed to bears.
We had Black Bears, Brown Bears, Kermodie Bears (a word that no spell check Ive ever met recognizes).  We knew that there were even Polar Bears, not that far away, and were famileir with the terms Grizzly, Kodiak, and Mad.
But no one ever questioned if they were bears.
No one was ever going to ask you "Are you *sure* it was a bear?"

Parks and WIldlife would come to your door, no matter what type of bear it was.  OK, They might laugh at you a little, if you were cowering inside over a black bear.  And yes, if you had a Kerodie, they would probably tell you just to sit back and enjoy the view while you had it, because they wernt going to come out and move it. 

Do you wonder though - Did the black bears ever feel less of a bear, because they were smaller.
Do Kodiaks make fun of other brown bears, for being less ferocious?
Does a Kermodie get  labeled as a "Punk" bear, just because its got a pink or green patch on it?

And even if they did... I dont think they would ever question wether or not it was a bear, just for the color of its fur.
A bear is a bear is a bear....black, white or brown.
Herbivore, Carnivore, or Omnivore....(depending on the season, usually)
Big and scary, or the size of a  Rottweiller on Vancouver Island...
Still - just a bear.

Why cant *we* be so smart, when it comes to people?

Because, I think it needs to be seperate...

Ive created a new blog for my kids... As The Stomach Turns 
Im hoping to attempt to document the things that my kids do - mostly to keep track of thier Autistic/ FAS activities.
This blog, gets relegated to my more insane rants on psuedo-politics, religion and general annoyances.

Interesting...

SO yes, alot of my issues do seem to center around FAS.
But along with dealing with a great deal of autism/aspergers research for the kids, Im beginning to see that I score ridiculously high on some aspergers criteria as well. Particularly when it comes to not relating well to people, having trouble understanding social cues, and being very stuck in routines to survive.

Oh, and not generally thinking like other people. Or more to the point, being *convinced* that the way I think is superior to the way others think. To the point where Im wondering if my "Sociopathic" tendencies are all just basically aspergers, wrapped in FAS.

Scary, that the combo of those may explain everything Ive fought socially my whole life. Relief though, that maybe Im not as "crazy" as I sometimes think I am.

Also - wondering how many other people out there, particularly of my generation, may be suffering from stuff like this, and just - not know.
And how many more have simply developed "coping mechanisms" to cover up or hide thier issues from others, and just - ignore themselves entirely.

At least, if I have...
*sighs*
Its like Ive finally figured out that its ok to be me. THat the things that I think and feel arent just - random stupidity, but have - a source.
And that source, is actually - legitimate.
And the friends that Ive lost over the years, I feel sorry for them now. Particularly those who should have had the knowledge to help me, and couldnt, or didnt.

And I thank God for the research in the last few years, that has come to surface, and has allowed me to finally, be free.

Or, you know - I could just be stark raving bonkers too - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/10154775.stm